Her arrival

On August 18, 2004 it finally really happened, Bebeth arrived in Frankfurt! The day began very early for me because I wanted to arrive at the airport in time for fetching her without her having to wait and maybe becoming nervous. Although it was still summer in Germany at this time, it was very rainy and windy when I left my home heading for the Autobahn (German highway). Some construction areas on my way added some further difficulties to get through and sometimes I could hardly see anything. Today I wonder if this was a sign, but it was impossible to stop me now after having waited for so long. I hold promise and finally took place inside the waiting hall long before the scheduled arrival time of her plane.

Bebeth traveled together with her mother's good Filipina friend who was "officially" instructed to give Bebeth a feeling of security during her 15 hours flight with a stop over in Singapore. Elena has been married for 25 years with a German and her family resides in Garbsen nearby Hannover 500km away from my place. As she speaks German fluently she was the ideal companion for Bebeth and I felt calmed. Unfortunately she and her family only had a stop over in Frankfurt on their way to Hannover so there was no possibility to meet, but I had talked to her on the phone earlier already.

After endless minutes of waiting inside the hall, maybe I was one hour too early, Bebeth finally walked through the exit pushing her baggage cart after a friendly nod from the custom's employees had let her pass. I could hardly believe to see her in Germany finally after so many months of waiting and hoping for our papers to be processed. So many thoughts went through my mind like "is she scared, excited, tired, hungry, feeling cold? ..." and I felt a little bit shy and confused. We hugged each other more like two old friends and I took over pushing her cart. Surely she was filled with mixed emotions but excitement superseded, though she hardly showed it.

We went through some long corridors and reached the parking house searching for my car. "It is a small car", was her first comment. Hmm, well it's a Volkswagen Polo only, but big enough for me. It disappointed me a bit but I didn't argue. After loading her baggage into the car I suddenly noticed that I had forgotten to pay the parking fee which needs to be paid before it's possible to drive out of the parking house. I apologized and told her to wait a few minutes until I had cared about this. I had tried to think about everything but excitement was too big, obviously.

While driving on the Autobahn she was a way scared of the high speed driving that she wasn't used to, but enjoyed it later, though. Meanwhile it had become bright outside and the rain had ceased, so her first impressions about Germany were huge mais fields and some historical castles she noticed along the way. Surely it was at least as interesting for her as the National Highway leading through Surigao City for me during my first visit there...

We arrived at my parents' house who prepared something for us to eat to welcome their future daughter-in-law . The plane landed early in the morning so it was some kind of a second breakfast. Bebeth seemed very shy, though she hugged my mom, but while eating she remained silent maybe because of her jet lag. The main problem was a language barrier as only my father speaks a little English and Bebeth wasn't used to it either, although English is Philippines' business language and the medium of instruction from High School to College. She brought a gift for my parents, a nice hand made wooden tray which still decorates their dining room. This reminded me that she asked me for some money to buy gifts and souvenirs......hmm.

Unfortunately I don't have any photos about the very first days, but later we took hundreds of pictures. Some of the best ones you can find here. The first 2 weeks she enjoyed the summer and the landscape with beautiful flowers and trees, but then her mood steadily worsened. Sometimes I had the feeling she was not really present but still in the Philippines mentally. She used up to 3 cellphones at the same time for keeping in contact with her friends and also liked to chat with friends and colleagues online whenever possible.

I asked her about this and she just told me that she needed more time to adapt and things would become better slowly but surely (hinay-hinay basta kanunay). Her difficulty in adjustment to her new surroundings can surely be anticipated because of homesickness being away from her family and friends.

Shortly after her arrival we went to the city hall and let her be registered as resident and also visited the civil registry office for officially arranging the wedding. For this purpose, a sworn translator was required, as she couldn't understand the forms and questions of the officer, of course. Here something strange happened, as she revealed to me and others months later. While the translator explained her the papers and also that she was obliged to tell the truth only because a false statement would be severely punished, she misunderstood him. She had thought that she was obliged to marry me or end up in jail! Imagine this... how silly can one be to believe such a thing, hmm? Obliged to marry...

Well, before I was unaware of her misunderstanding and supposed that everything went on as agreed upon. During her stay she had the opportunity to visit many places all over Germany. Our first trip led us to Elkenroth nearby Siegen, where we met Lanie and her husband Georg, who own a big villa there as they're rather wealthy. Jerma and Nelva, two other Filipinas and friends of Lanie living at neighboured places joined us. While the ladies disappeared inside the kitchen I had a nice talk with some of the men and we exchanged experiences about German bureaucracy and discussed the necessity of karaoke capable DVD players. Later we also had a great dinner together inside Lanie's kitchen and enjoyed superiour steaks prepared by Georg personally.

The next day we proceeded to Garbsen for visiting Elena and her family. Lanie and her friends drove in front using her sports car while Bebeth and I followed in my car. After having covered quite a distance I wondered where to find a good value filling station along our way. In Germany there are also fueling stations along the Autobahn but those are known to be very expensive. Although I requested Bebeth to ask Lanie and Co. if they had an idea where to find one, she didn't want to as being ashamed to ask for a "cheap filling station". This nearly ended in a quarrel but fortunately we made it to Garbsen without the need to refuel.

Finally we arrived at Elena's place, a huge house probably a former farm, where she lives together with her husband and their two children. As usual for Northern Germany it is built of red bricks with a barn and a former joinery beside. It was the day before their 25th wedding anniversary which Bebeth and I attended, too. Very nice, though rather exhausting, but she really enjoyed being together with other Filipinas. This premonition was quickly blown away from my mind making me believe for the best.

As I must work again after our roundtrip, Bebeth's friends and I organized lots of other excursions to beat up her boredom. At first she was afraid to travel by train so I took her to a farther railway station to avail of a direct trip to Elena's place. She stayed with the family for about a week and they traveled to North Sea and other places.

Bebeth proudly showed me some photos later, but her pleasant mood was only short-lived as it was unpredictable as a weather. As soon as she was alone or together with me at home, she usually watched TV or worked on the PC. I had installed a second satellite dish for receiving TFC (The Filipino Channel), which became her favorite channel. Today, I realize it was detrimental for her learning of German Language which she must gradually become accustomed to but German TV programs she found boring.

We had only 6 weeks time until the wedding reception so I hurried to organize a location, the meals etc at a nice hotel-restaurant and fortunately my mom and my sister in law helped a lot, while my bride posed as an observer only. Back home in the Philippines her family has several household helpers who do the job at her command. I was disappointed that she didn't show much enthusiasm, but we need to remember that she thought being "forced to marry me", right? The week before the big event Elena arrived at our flat for helping with the preparation, choosing of the table decoration etc. She was a great help, indeed. Today I really wonder why Bebeth never told her about her fears and the misunderstanding she had, but she really didn't talk about it to anyone despite being in contact all the time. She had so many opportunities...