The encounter

Early Sunday morning on July 3, 2005 we arrived at the harbour of Surigao City. It was very exciting to return to this place and the well known hot and humid air welcomed us while carefully walking down the gangway. Jochrys hold his promise and waited for us already. During our ride I was sitting in front next to him, while Tata and Gaga took place on the back seat of the car. We didn't talk much beside usual flowery phrases, so I had the opportunity to view the city while driving by as the dawn slowly disappeared and the morning sun hardly peeped out of the black clouds. Bad omen! The monsoon which enhances rainfall worsened the weather here compared to Cebu where we had enjoyed bright sunshine.

Finally we reached the house of the family and to my big surprise I was told to take over Bebeth's room again during my visit. She and most members of the family were still asleep, so I just brought my stuff into the house, took a bath and rested for a while. Soon I met her mother who had noticed my arrival and she welcomed me by offering a cup of Nescafe "3in1" coffee, so she didn't forget my likes, obviously.

Then after a while the door to Bebeth's room was opened and she finally appeared wearing a pyjama that made her look rather cute. When she noticed me she just smiled and said "Hi! Good morning!" before she proceeded to the bath room... Hmm?! On one side I was relieved that she didn't shout at me or made a scene, but also a little bit disappointed as I had expected some more affection after estranged for such a long time.

Soon it was time for having breakfast and Bebeth and I sat together at the table joined by Jochry's kids. Amazingly we didn't talk much but concentrated on eating. It was funny to note that she had adapted to German customs in the meantime thus having toast bread with pineapple jam together with her beloved Milo (a hot chocolate drink), while I was eating rice and some fish like a "typical filipino". We even joked about her following German breakfast customs already... Maybe this was to impress anyone what she had learned during her free vacation in Germany?

As it was Sunday, soon it was time to go to church and I participated, of course. It was good to have the opportunity to talk to God as I was still unsure how to handle the strange situation and the words of the pastor calmed my mind, although the mass was mainly held in Visayan, I only understood tiny pieces... Interestingly Laxmie had actually wanted to bring me to a different church like I used to go to during my previous visits, but due to transportation problems we ended at the UCCP central church again, where the very kind Reverend even remembered my name and announced me as a visitor during the mass. Bebeth was busy attending the choir, so I sat beside Laxmie and her husband... The rest of the day was surely spent with distributing my gifts and further resting, as I was very tired after my long travel.

Certainly, this was an end of a pretentious and expensive love affair but at least we still could be the best of friends, if we could tell each other of our true feelings. There was not even a trace of her gratitude to reciprocate all my efforts and resources offered. On the other hand, to my favor, she had been indirectly conveying me a message of her disinterest on me, but my foolish heart overruled my head and aspired for a reconciliation. This was very obvious as during my first days staying there she hardly noticed me at all. Surely she needed to work during daytime, but even after work she rarely showed up at home before it became dark outside. A few months before she had engaged to a new hobby (Badminton) which really seemed to keep her busy every afternoon/evening. It was rather apparent that she wanted to avoid me whenever possible and she preferred to be with her friends rather than being together with me. This behaviour only confirmed my developing decision that divorce would really be the best solution for both us. A German saying goes "It's better to experience a frightening end than a neverending fright". So my main concern was to accomplish an official agreement with her which could be useful at a later court session, which I surely would need to face on my own later, back in Germany.

Before my departure to the Philippines I had consulted my lawyer just in case a divorce was really unavoidable. He had prepared a document for me which I translated into english and brought with me. It was some kind of affidavit for her to sign stating that she agreed with a divorce etc. But how could I convince her to sign? Didn't Jochrys tell me that she wouldn't sign anything in the Philippines?